Mom's Wisdom

I've talked about my mom before.  Her name is Ev and we are two peas in a pod. 

I even have friends who have renamed me “Ev” and I am sure I will look (even more) like her as time progresses.

Here is a picture of the last time we saw each other at the Denver airport.  Mom flew out to join me for a keynote in Vail last year.  We are so grateful for FaceTime!

This week, when we were chatting on FaceTime, she said, “Give me a sec.  Let me go grab a piece of paper.” I knew I was about to get some mom wisdom!

The wisdom was this quote:

Mom shared her thoughts and made me slow down to reflect about how I balance capability and capacity.  In truth, Mom was calling me out for not balancing it very well lately. 

When Mom thinks like this, I see my grandma, too… who is still alert and reflecting at 105. 

Both of these wise women model how we all benefit from a balance between our capability with our capacity.

Tips to help you balance your capability and your capacity: 

Tip #1:  Give yourself a concrete number to rank to determine how “full” you are. 

Merely giving yourself a rank number forces you to assess where you at.  Without that pause for reflection, you will never get to the awareness that you need to either maintain your balance, or adjust.

Tip #2:  Ask open-ended questions to those who assume you have capacity (when you don’t)

Ask open-ended questions to better understand where that person is coming from.  Questions such as:

• What has created the urgency to have me do this priority now?

• How can I manage this request compete with my current priorities?

• Given ABC, what would you recommend is done first?

Tip #3:  Make sure that some of the work in your capacity bucket are activities that bring you joy.

If it brings you joy, hard work can be rejuvenating work and actually build your capacity.

Tip #4:  If you are challenged by something (low capability), then give yourself more capacity time to meet that challenge.

Manage your ego – recognize when your activities are challenging.  Give yourself more time to meet that challenge.  Your ego will try to tell you that you have lots of time and to take more on.  Resist!  Recognize that you need more capacity time to build your capabilities.

Tip #5:  Take the ASKhole® quiz

This 2-minute quiz gives you some quick feedback about where you’re at in your capacity bucket and contributing factors to your capacity to take on more. Click here.

I think that life is a constant juggle of capacity and capability.  That’s just a fact.  I’d love to hear how the juggle is going for you, so email me back.

And… hot off the press – I created a handbook with 86 activities to help leaders lead out of the ASKhole® trap.  Get your copy here. 

Kerri

PS - I welcome the chance to help you pull out of your own spin or simply grab a cup of tea together. Let's find some time together through this link to my calendar.