Comfort and Diversity and Safety

We had our annual holiday party on the weekend.  I take great pride in making everything myself, from scratch.  This means that I start planning months in advance and am exhausted at the end of the party.

This year was a little unexpected in that several people came up to me and said, “Even better than last year!” 

That had me thinking – is it really?  There is the same great food, the same amazing people and I even have a high school neighborhood genius taking food in and out of the oven so I can be a bit more social.  In fact, about half as many people showed up, so if you count the number of attendees as a sign of success, then it was actually less successful.

So what made it even better?

The crowd was smaller because I slimmed down invite list, intentionally.  I had less acquaintances and more core friends.  Those friends all know each other. 

So, when we played the white elephant used gift exchange, the crowd really appreciated why a gift was a win or a reject for whomever.

We all know each other.

We like each other.

We get each other.

That had me thinking – of course it’s a better holiday party because it is more comfortable. 

Is that comfort because the group is homogenous?  I mean – we all know each other through the neighborhood pub.  That sounds pretty homogenous. 

With a skeptical eye, I look back over these pictures. 

We are diverse group.   We are a diverse group that is comfortable together.

Why?

We have worked at building trust, getting to know each other, accepting how clean or messy we come to the local pub for the quick touch base and escape from the pressures of our day-to-day lives.

In these photos, I see people from various countries:  Austria, Belgium, France, Canada, Brazil, and India (I’m sure I’m missing some!).  And different sexual orientation, socio-economic brackets.  And varying professions.

That acceptance and comfort promotes a degree of psychological safety that made this the party “the best one yet!” 

So what is the message I’m keeping in preparation for next year’s party being even better?  Keep nurturing those relationships, remain curious and recognize that comfort comes when we invest in understanding and appreciating our differences.