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Managing the Ego

I’ve been a solopreneur for two months now and I have hit a wall – my ego. The problem may not be what you think. The problem is that my ego is too small. Ya.

When we think of egos, it often conjures up a negative connotation. At least it does for me. I see people with “big egos” who take up the whole room and squish people to the sides. In my private communication group (which you can join!), someone even brought up the term “ego maniac” – another negative connotation.

So how is it that my ego can be too small. Isn’t it a good thing to have a small ego?

It wasn’t until I dove into this topic of ego and shared some communication strategies on managing other people’s ego (check out the newsletter here), that I have reflected on a definition of ego:

A person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance

For me, my ego issues surface as I wade through my awkwardness when I submit proposals. I struggle to feel comfortable pitching the investment. Sure, this is part and parcel with the new solopreneur space I’m navigating. I get that. Deeper though, getting to the bottom of my own spin, is my sense of confidence.

I believe that it is super hard to pull out of our own spins without someone’s help. In that space, I reached out to a colleague to help untangle my awkwardness around pricing and strengthen my confidence and sense of worth.

Our conversation generated a bigger opportunity - we started a women’s only pricing group. One of the activities in this group was to map out how much our education has cost us in terms of tuition, lost income, and other variables. My 15 years of post-secondary education, combined with all of the other variables, comes at a cost of $700,000! If that won’t bolster my sense of self-worth, I’m not sure what will!

This ego story is a good reminder that it takes action to pull us out of our spin, complemented with some accountability. For me, it was reaching out to my colleague and getting real with the pricing group. I guess you could say I set myself up the way I set up my clients – pulling them out of the day-to-day spin and holding them accountable to make progress.

My goal: I want to show up with a little more ego. Not be an ego maniac, let’s be clear, but a little more confidence and self-esteem. This blog is part of me holding me accountable.

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