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What? You didn't like me?

Writer's picture: Kerri Burchill, PhDKerri Burchill, PhD

Updated: Jun 20, 2022

Someone recently told me, "You know, I wasn't a Kerri fan when I first met you. You just rushed around everywhere like you were better than everyone else."


I remember "rushing around everywhere." You would have seen me speed walking to the bathroom or hurrying to a meeting – I couldn't say more than a passing "hi" to anyone in the halls I was in such a rush. I would refill my tea thermos and hold my breath waiting impatiently for the person in front of me to finish filling their mug. I was rushing, rushing, rushing because I cared so much - too much.


In hindsight, my spinning was accompanied with the best intentions. I was trying to fix things that were way out of my control. As a result, it was sometimes hard for people to connect with me.


If I could draw what it felt like to be me during those years, it would probably look like this:



My give-a-crap factor got away on me. I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. I steamrolled people because I knew the data, I knew my ideas would address what needed to shift and I was confident I was right. In my right-ness (or righteousness), I broke some relationships.


The truth? I was trying to control things outside of my control and that is a perfect opportunity to manage, or in my case not manage, the give-a-crap factor.


Let me explain. When I first started that job that had me spinning, I created and sent out an employee survey to assess people's feelings and attitudes about their work. In hindsight, it wasn't much different than an engagement survey and gave the same kinds of results:

employees wanted more from their leaders.


The organization was like many companies I work with now – it had a pattern of promoting leaders without a lot of leadership development and training, so the leaders were ill-equipped to meet their employees' needs. Long story short, I observed that employees and leaders were hurting. That is a trigger for me.


So what happened?


I met with a coach who helped me self-manage. I slowed down, I created a Leadership Academy that helped leaders meet their employees’ needs. That Leadership Academy created relationships I still hold dear today.


In short: I managed what was in my control.


The irony: I made more of an impact when I did less.


Interested in three strategies to manage your give-a-crap factor? Download the information here:



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